Monday, August 28, 2006

Dodging a Bullet

I think that's the phrase that my RE used when discussing my latest tests. Seems my numbers are all good:

FSH: 3.7
Estradiol: 68

I didn't dig further for the prolactin and TSH numbers, preferring to take RE's word for it that they are normal.

I felt like such an A student when the doctor actually praised my FSH as being "incredibly low" or "amazingly low" (okay he might have said, "on the low side," but what I heard was: "Jesus, Casey, the FSH test doesn't even register any lower than 3.7. Well done!")

He did tell me I could breathe a sigh of relief. Which, come to think of it, is a smidge dismissive, dontcha think? A sigh of relief? Really? It's no surprise, as this is a man who referred to the large yolk sac as a "silver lining" during my last miscarriage because at least it was indicative of a chromosomal problem, and not a recurring medical problem (such as an antibody or coagulation thing).

I'm making him sound a bit insensitive, and that's not fair. I believe he's a caring man and very invested in seeing his patients succeed at getting and staying pregnant. I guess I am just a bit more aware of the odd things people say to me, now.

But I do feel relieved. Or I did, until I mentioned my odd spotting after my period, which caused him to tell me to wait an extra cycle before trying again. Damn me and my big mouth. His reasoning is that the spotting tells him that my lining hasn't stabilized. Or was it my hormones? Either way, I'm supposed to monitor the next cycle and see what's doing before I rush into getting knocked up again.

I guess I'd rather know that I'm taking all the necessary precautions before trying again. His expert advice is why my insurance company is paying him so much money, after all. And, honestly, I feel that emotionally it may be best to wait.

It's just that I hate waiting. I'm the kind of person that when I decide I want to get my hair cut, I need to have it cut within 24 hours. So place the overwhelming desire to have a baby in place of getting my hair cut (not to mention the knowledge that I would already have another baby, if I hadn't miscarried last December) and I'm feeling a bit antsy.

Aren't we all?


At 8:14 PM, Blogger Kathy McC said...

Glad to hear your results were good. It's reassuring even if it doesn't really give you a concrete answer.

Hope it helps give you the courage to try again soon.

If you want to talk,

At 6:29 PM, Blogger Kath said...

Dear Casey, great news on your FSH levels! You're a star! ;)

And please don't worry about the spotting. The first full-fledged cycle after a D&C or D&E is often a bit problematic, with hyper-ovulation or lining problems or other hiccups. When you imagine how finely tuned the hormones have to be for everything to work perfectly in concert, it's understandable that there would be a process of adjustment after the hormonal cascade that accompanies a pregnancy loss.

Waiting is a huge pain, but in this case I think your RE has a point.

Wishing you so much luck for the next cycle.


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