Wednesday, September 20, 2006

My thoughts have been with Julia all day. She's having a rough go of it and recently encouraged her readers to send along profanities or hopeful stories or something, dear lord, to cheer her (the fuck) up.

I volunteered the following story in a comment. Then I thought, maybe a few people who cruise by here would appreciate this as well.

This is a true story, filled with amusing profanity.

One day my niece, who was four at the time, came home in tears from preschool. My sister asked her what was wrong, and found out that my niece was extremely upset with the teacher for not writing any of her "words" up on the blackboard that day.

Being a protective lioness, my sister called the teacher immediately to find out exactly why her daughter had been wronged. This is what she found out.

Each week, the preschool class discussed a new letter of the alphabet. That day they had arrived at "F." The teacher was prompting the students to come up with words that started with F. One by one the students raised their hands, offered a word, and the teacher wrote it out on the blackboard for them.

"Family!"

"Friend!"

"Feather!"

My niece held up her hand (ooh, ooh, pick me!)

"Yes?" the teacher called on her.

"Fuck!"

The teacher paused--while the teaching assistant sniggered--then said, "I don't think we'll put that one up on the board."

The class continued to offer new f-words: "Fun" "Fancy" "Furry"

My niece raised her hand again and the teacher called on her.

"Fuck it?"

Now the teaching assistant had to leave the room and the teacher, after composing herself, said, "Okay. Are there any others?"

"Fat" "Fire" My niece raised her hand again. The only child left with her hand up. The teacher called on her.

"Fuck off?"

That is when the teacher decided that they had thought up enough f-words for one day.

I say, at least she got them in alphabetical order.

4 Comments:

At 6:27 PM, Blogger Kathy McC said...

Hilarious!

 
At 8:20 PM, Blogger Hetty Fauxvert said...

(wiping tears from my eyes)

Oh. My. Goodness.

Well, that's why I've decided I'm seriously going to have to curb my cussin' after this brood is born. I'll just have to come up with some colorful substitutes, I guess. I remember my mother saying that her grandfather could say the word "Sugar!" with more fire and venom than anyone she ever heard. (I'll have to think of something a little better than "sugar," though.)

 
At 6:00 PM, Blogger Jessie said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At 6:01 PM, Blogger Jessie said...

That is too funny. Our family favorite is "Back Flip!" Try it when your kids are around. It substitutes awesomley! Awesomly? Whatever...it goes really well!

 

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