Monday, October 09, 2006

Ladies, call your bookies!

I am back in the game.

As of Friday, when spot came begging at the side door (rather, front door), I am officially back on the baby-making trail.


What the hell does this mean? It means my period, the one I've been instructed to wait for, has arrived. Harkening the commencement of office visit after ultrasound after bloodwork.

I was freaked out on Friday when I spoke to my RE. He's a nice man, in possession of knowledge and scientific equipment that is very important to me. Yet, he makes jokes at which I cannot seem to laugh.

me: You told me to check in when my next period started...

RE: ...and it started today?

me: Well, I'm spotting, and last night I had the cramps as well as a migraine two nights ago...

RE: Ah, yes, all those lovely things. You know, I think I missed out not being born a woman. You really have all the fun.

(awkward pause)

me: Yeah, but you have to deal with the whole thinning hair and smaller brain thing.

So we talked, at length, again, about what has or has not gone wrong for me and what to expect. I pressed him on when, exactly, he would consider sending us for genetic testing. His response was that while the textbook answer is after three miscarriages, he rarely follows those guidelines. Reason? Well, there's no treatment for it and it doesn't change anything. So, I said, you just keep trying to overcome the chromosome problem, if there is one? Exactly, he said.

But, in thinking about it, I am somewhat incensed by his casualness. I mean, what if I don't want to keep trying? What if I want to avoid the pain of repeated losses by, say, using donor eggs or adopting? Neither of them simple solutions, nor a guarantee against pain or loss, but options for someone facing a huge genetic hurdle, nonetheless.

He said that if I bring it up again at my next appointment he would refer me for testing. Not that I want it. I just think his reasoning is faulty. The question is, will I be so bold as to say this to a man in the midst of a post-coital test sample collection? Oh, by the way, yes, he did tell me to have sex the night before my appointment next Wednesday. I was not sure how to take that particular directive. Except to say that now you can be pretty sure what I'll be doing next Tuesday evening.

So don't call.


At 8:07 PM, Blogger Kathy McC said...

You know, when I saw my RE, I really felt like cattle. I swear they rehearse their little dialogues and spit them out to every single patient they see.

I stopped going because of that. And just rolled the dice. And here Kameron sits almost 1 year old.

Thinking of you.

At 1:46 AM, Blogger Hetty Fauxvert said...

Do you ever feel like saying to your RE, "Don't quit your day job"?

I don't know about whether genetic testing does that much good or not. But (if you are doing IVF) what about PGD? I wish I had done it with this last IVF, and possibly avoided some of the problems we've had (so far). Except that my clinic doesn't offer it, and the nearest other clinics are 1 hr+ away in heavy traffic, and I really don't manage highways well. Oh, well.

In any case, wishing you the best of luck, and fewer smartass comments from the RE!

At 10:46 AM, Blogger theoneliner said... i agree with b.s. he needs to test. what if the two of you (god forbid) have something that it going to happen 98% of the time.
Especially if you would consider adoption.
Plus, you just need to know.
What up with the jokes? He missed out on being a woman?
I say insist on test.


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