Thursday, December 21, 2006

No News is Good News?

I did not have any luck talking my new OB into giving me the ol' Doppler. He was adamant. He did, however, write a scrip, on the spot, for an ultrasound anytime I might need or want one between that first visit with him and my next visit two weeks later (when the Doppler will finally make an appearance). I didn't fight it because frankly, I just didn't have time. If they'd had ultrasound in their offices, I would have asked for that. But, to schlep to another unfamiliar part of the hospital in the middle of the week before Christmas...I am just too lazy. I'd rather sit around and worry.

He did give me the five-finger-feel and pronounced my uterus to be sizing right on schedule. He must be good at picking out produce at the market, too. That reassured me enough to drop the whole thing. It's really just that with an RE you get somewhat dependent upon those ultrasounds. But, absent any significant symptoms, I just have to believe that everything is fine.

The OB himself is great. Very attentive and sensitive (so far). I have heard good things about him through the grapevine. He, himself, told me that when he left the other practice at the hospital (due to personality conflicts) to join this current practice, all of the female nurses and doctors that were pregnant followed him to this new practice to have their babies. I mean, it was told in the spirit of assuring me that I had made the right choice in finding a compassionate practice. It didn't come across as self-aggrandizing. But, he is a doctor, afterall, so anything's possible.

I still have reservations about the birthing process that were not laid to rest during our visit. My daughter's delivery still haunts me. It was as bad as could be without being life-threatening. That said, I was this close to needing a transfusion, so maybe it was life-threatening. I had an epidural, then felt everything after the nurse dialed it down so I could go into more active labor. I was given Pitocin (which I strongly believe was the cause of my daughter's subsequent distsress during labor). My daughter's heartrate went low and stayed low during and after contractions, which necessitated the use of first the vacuum, then forceps. And my hey-nanny-nanny suffered a 4th-degree tear. Which isn't really a tear at all, is it? It's a blow-out. A 5th-degree tear means your spine falls out.

Okay, there are a lot of stories just like mine out there and I'm mostly over it. Except for the fact that I feel it was the medical team that failed me. I believe that the doctor who delivered (who was not from my practice, but rather from the covering practice) wanted to have his Saturday to himself, and therefore sped me up with Pitocin and that led to giving birth a mere 7 hours after my water broke, with only 45 minutes of pushing, further putting me in a position to need strong intervention (vacuum, forceps) because my baby was in distress but couldn't get out because she hadn't had time to mold her giant head to the contours of my birth canal.

This, my friends, is the short version. Were you to come over for lunch, I would bore you with much, much more. Like how, as the doctor stitched up my 4th degree tear, I said "I can feel that, and it really hurts. Could you please give me something to numb the pain?" and he replied, "I'm almost done." Twenty minutes later, I made the same request and got the same response. And then there was the next day when he came to see me and I asked, "Was that a really difficult delivery?" and his response was "Well, you made me work harder than I wanted to."

To him I say in all sincerity: Fuck you.

Misogyny aside, I want the next delivery to be different. Doula, maybe, as my husband, God love him, was absolutely useless to me during delivery. Granted, his number one fear was losing me, but now that we have a baby at home, do you think that fear is going anywhere? The OB was open to the idea of a doula, but warned that there are those who do a great job advocating for the patient and there are those who wish they were midwives and step over the line. So, I'll get a few names and run them by him as he was certain he would know who the good ones are if he just heard their names (having worked with several).

Yes, I am already thinking about the delivery. Honestly, it's just another thing to worry about, and I wanted to test out some ideas on the OB. When else do you have the chance but at that first sit down, when your pants are still on (and still fit). He suggested that I might be a candidate for a scheduled C-section, since a 4th degree tear can cause problems in subsequent deliveries as far as, er, continence problems. But, since I am not currently suffering from any of that, I could probably do another vaginal delivery just fine. If only my next child would have the decency to inherit his father's peanut sized noggin, which is why I married the man. Oh, and the next time let's make sure the drugs do their job. What's the point of risking paralysis otherwise?

I am not going to have time to write again before the holiday weekend settles in full force. I hope you all have the Merriest, Sparklingest, and Most Peaceful holiday that you choose to celebrate. I, personally, am looking foward to the weekend and sharing laughs with family and not hemorrhaging at the same time. As you can see, I have lofty goals.


At 9:32 PM, Blogger Hetty Fauxvert said...

Wow, the doc who presided at your daughter's birth sounds like an incredible a**hole. I don't think you're being too hard on him at all. Just thank goodness it turned out all right! And I think you're absolutely right to establish right up front with this new doc that you do NOT want a repeat performance of that!

And backtracking a bit, I'm so glad to hear everything is going well! How absolutely lovely. Hope this is the cherry and whipped cream on top of a terrific holiday!


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